The Four D's

It can be really challenging to manage self-destructive urges. We can feel the urges creep up like a wave. And just like a wave, if we ride out the urge, we can see that it breaks. Imagery is something I find very useful in therapy. I like to imagine the urges like a wave. We can feel the wave approaching, perhaps even see it from the distance. We notice the trigger to the urge. Next comes the build up of the wave. It begins to rise, gets bigger, taller and we are now at the peak of the wave. The most intense feeling of the urge. It's in this moment when the easiest thing to do is give in to that urge.

This is where the 4 D's come in- delay, distract, determine, decide.

We may want to give in to that urge. And maybe we will, we won't get it every time. But before we do, let's see if we can delay the reaction. Pause and think about your choices. Next we can distract ourselves with our coping skills- give it 15 minutes. After the 10-15-20 minutes of distracting, determine and decide your course of action. Is it acting on the urge? Or is it riding out the urge with skills? Imagine watching the wave breaking on the beach and you have survived that urge.